Question:
Can I (the expectant mother) hold a baby shower for myself? I have had 3 pregnancies and this is my 4th and I have not had a shower in the past for any of my children. I am 9 weeks from birth of our first daughter.
Answer:
Dear Crystal,
Oh, honey! Don't make me have to come over there and deliver a Diva Tutorial to all your friends and family! You mean after three children no one's stepped up to the plate to give you a shower for the fourth?
Seriously. All joking aside, my friend. We need to take care of this right away!
My suggestion is that you pick one trusted friend, one who also knows your family, and ask her to get on the horn and say something like, "You know, I was just thinking. Crystal is having her fourth baby and she's never had a baby shower thrown for her! I think we ought to figure something out. What are your ideas on this?" That gets the ball rolling. If anyone calls and asks you if you know anything about so-and-so's call, you put your finger to your cheek and say "Moi? Noooooo. I know nothing! But I sure would love it if I had a shower. Gosh! That makes me feel really loved!" There's nothing like using the velvet sledge hammer approach on those who didn't get the clue the first three times around!
It isn't good form to throw yourself a baby shower, because it can only look like what it really is -- a solicitation for material goods, a/k/a trolling for bling. That's why shower etiquette provides for another party to be in charge of hostessing the event. The hostess will also spring for refreshments, decorations and favors. The idea behind a shower, no matter what the design theme, is to involve a community of friends and family in a celebration with a goal -- getting Mom-to-Be outfitted with all the gear needed to care for her baby.
You didn't say how much time has elapsed between the birth of your third child and your current pregnancy. If it's been awhile between babies, you might have given away a lot of your childcare items, including crib, high chair, stroller, etc. It could be that you're in a position where you need to get set up from scratch again. If so, there's no time like the present to drop the hint to that special friend so that she can start motivating others on your behalf.
You sure do deserve a wonderful shower experience, Crystal! And no matter whether others in past times thought you didn't want a shower makes no difference. There are plenty of instances where people say or pretend that they don't want presents such as for a birthday, graduation or -- heaven forbid! -- Mother's Day. Still, we gift special people on these occasions anyway. It's the loving thing to do. The same rules apply to your having a baby shower thrown for you. It doesn't matter if you have to "hide behind to achieve your design". Do it!
After you drop the hint and get the ball rolling, direct your friend to my website: theshowerdiva.com. Have your guest list ready, pick out where you'd like to be registered and provide all the information to your shower hostess. Great places to register for lots of great affordable gear are target.com and babiesrus.com. Both of these stores also ship gifts in case you've got out-of-town friends and relatives to invite. It doesn't matter if your out-of-town listers can't come (and you even know that in advance). They can love you by sending a gift. It's the least they can do now that you're ready to cradle baby No. 4!
Let me know how it goes, Crystal! I'm in your corner.
Happy Showering!
Susan "The Shower Diva"
Where Fun Reigns!™
