Question:
I am the Maid of Honor at a good friend's wedding next month. She asked me to give a speech. I really want it to be special and memorable for her as she has dreamed of this day since she was a child. Can you help with the wording or give me suggestions? Thank you!
Answer:
Hi Denise,
Congratulations! Being chosen as Maid of Honor is one of the highest compliments a friend can pay you. The Bride-to-Be not only loves you but has placed trust and faith in you throughout your friendship.
Since you've also been chosen to give the bride and groom their wedding toast, your friend is also telling you how gifted you are.
Rules of the Road:
Traditionally, the Best Man is the one who usually gives the wedding toast. If the bride and groom want several people to speak, the Best Man functions as the toastmaster. He's the guy who makes up the list of speakers and is in charge of the mike at the reception. The Bride and Husband-to-Be supply the names to him in advance. One of the newest trends is the "open mike" set up at the reception. Today lots of people want to get in on the act, and it can be great fun.
But you're gong to be the star of the moment when toast time rolls around this time. And whether the Best Man acts as toastmaster, gives a speech himself or is simply in charge of an open mike, the Bride has made it clear that she wants the most important speech of the day to be yours.
If you're starting to feel weak at the knees, there are some friendly lifesavers online -- guides that will help get you started.
Tips on Giving Toasts:
WeddingVendors.com is a resource that also recommends a professional wedding speech writer if you want or need to go that route.
A professionally written wedding speech isn't an impersonal or "canned" product. Your input is the writer's guide for what you're in charge of creating. The speech can't be written without you. It's your memories that count. You'd be in full control of the content. A speech writer simply organizes your content and makes it elegant.
There's also a DVD entitled "Professional Maid of Honor Speech Templates" - you can purchase it at Great-Wedding-Toasts.com for $19.99. This DVD may help jump start your brain batteries through coaxing out your memories. You'll also have access to a bridal speech vocabulary you might not have been exposed to before. I make no guarantees for this product. I just want you to know that this option is out there.
The Knot's "Toasting Tips for the Maid of Honor" has hot tips for toasting and has the delightful "Toasting: 25 Quotes from Famous Females." You never know -- reading some of these famous quotes may turn out to be your launching point!
If none of the foregoing suits your fancy, we can get down to basics of going from scratch.
Here are a few pointers to keep in mind:
- The speech should be formulated from your heart. Not from your head.
- Talk about things personal to you and the bride. (You've got friendship history to draw on, including the laughs and the tears.)
- Avoid subjects that might embarrass her. Her wedding day is a success story in progress, so don't mention anything from her past that could introduce a spoiler. No falling down drunk stories (even if everybody got looped at her bachelorette), and no past boyfriend heartbreak stories.
I've heard disaster stories where the Bride or the Groom got roasted rather than toasted. That's a Diva No-No. Save roasts for another event altogether. Roasts and off-color humor (and stories about ex-es) are not wedding material.
Getting in the Mood:
Sit down in a quiet room with pen and paper at the ready. Start writing. Write anything that comes to mind. Don't edit and don't censor the free-flow of your thoughts. Just get all the raw material down on paper. Remember special times you have shared. Recall all the highpoints in your friendship and write them down. Don't forget the times when she stood by your side when you met a rough patch as well the times she celebrated your biggest victories.
Remember when you and she talked about the future -- The Wedding Day. What would it be like? What would HE be like? Remember where you were (the place might be important), what did it smell like? What were you eating? Drinking? Wearing? What season of the year was it? Was anyone else in on the conversation? Sights, sounds and scents are powerful memory awakeners. Use them to your advantage when writing your first draft.
Editing the Raw Material:
After you've got your notes scrawled out, look for patterns and highlights. Make a list. What jumps out at you? What experiences elicit the most love and the best humor (in good taste, of course!) At this point, you should start to see the themes that bind your friendship together. That, along with warm mention of the Groom and observations about his wit and character should give you plenty to work with. The end of the speech is where you bestow your blessings and warm wishes on the happy couple. If you've done your soul-searching writing you should have a pretty good beginning on the speech you're going to give.
Way to go, Denise! High Five's all around! I know you're going to be a great success.
Happy Showering!
Susan "The Shower Diva"
Where Fun Reigns!™
