Question:
My step-daughter lives in Boston, MA. I would like to host a small bridal shower (12-15 women) for her in Michigan for people living here that will be attending the wedding.She would be coming to Michigan for the shower. What do you suggest for gift giving since she will be flying in for the shower. Is it proper to ask guests to ship gifts? I'm not sure how to handle this.
Answer:
Dear Lori,
To schlep or not to schlep, that is the question.
Unless the Bride-to-Be is hiring sherpas and pack mules to help her get 15-20 gifts back to Boston, it is probably a good idea to advise her to sign up at a registry. It's acceptable to include bridal regisry information on the shower invitation so long as it's discreetly positioned on the card.
Registry notations should appear in the lower left or right hand section on the invitation in a smaller type face. Since registries automatically ship wedding gifts to an address designated by the Bride-to-Be, gifting her is really a breeze! Since the shower attendees are also going to the wedding, they already know that the Bride-to-Be lives in another city. They're already prepping for their Boston trip. When they see a registry listing on the shower invitation, they'll hear the bell clang. In fact, they probably already "get it."
The gifting portion at the actual shower you're hosting will be a bit different in this case. Guests should bring an elegant bridal shower card that contains a print-out, or photo, of the gift they selected through the registry (or from whatever store they shopped if the bride isn't registered). When the Bride-to-Be opens each card, she can thrill at each happy surprise AND give warm hugs and face to face thank you's to each gifter. She will, of course, send written thank you notes once she's back in Boston! Be sure to have your designated recording secretary on duty to record the name of the giver and her gift just as you would at a regular shower (download a free gift record page).
If the bride isn't registered or declines to sign onto a special registry for convenience' sake, it would be smart, then, to have cartons addressed to the Bride-to-Be set up in advance. Since you're the shower hostess, you'll also act as the Bride-to-Be's Postmistress General. You'll be the one in charge of schleping the cartons to the post office as well as footing the shipping bill. UPS is also an excellent option.
The Bride-to-Be is the reigning queen at all wedding-related activiites. That means she doesn't lift a finger. There's no way she should be expected to get her gifts back to Boston. Fortunately, most people today are savvy gift givers. They know how to manuever bridal registries online and at local registry franchise stores such as Crate & Barrel, Sur La Table or Restoration Hardware.
Because today's gifters are so sophisticated, I don't think there will be too many people arriving at the shower with a gigantic gift that needs to be mailed. Even if the Bride-to-Be isn't registered, I bet most will ship their gift to Boston anyway.
I think you deserve a round of applause for throwing this shower! Can we all shout GO LORI! GO LORI! GO LORI! You bet we can!
Happy Showering,
Susan "The Shower Diva"
Where Fun Reigns!™
