Question:
Hello Shower Diva! As the bride how do I ask my circle of friends to give me a shower without sounding presumptous or tacky? Our wedding is Oct. 4th and haven't heard from any of them. By the way, my fiance and I have a huge circle of friends and family and are well loved. We are in our middle 40s and this is our first marriage believe it or not. We wonder if folks think at our age it would be juvenile but we would love to have showers to celebrate our future together. Your advice please on how to bring this up in a mannerly way to those who care about us. Thanks!
Answer:
Dear Emily,
Sticky wicky situation for sure!! First of all, best wishes to you and congratulations to your Husband-to-Be! It is refreshing when couples are in their 40s when they get married. It means you have taken the time to mature into who you are and have waited to make the right decision. This, of course, doesn't mean that anyone getting married earlier doesn't make the same choice - it just means that as time goes by, we grow in maturity and gain life perspective that helps in making better decisions.
If you have chosen a Maid-of-Honor, then it is her responsibility to take on the role of throwing you a bridal shower. Not your circle of friends. Just one person needs to hostess the shower. Drop into the conversation "Have you heard about this website: theshowerdiva.com? It's filled with some ideas and money-saving suggestions on how to throw a great shower." She doesn't have to go broke in giving you a send off or hosting a party for you. Also let her know of my sponsor's website, BadaBadaBride.com which is filled with great games that save tons of time for your friend - premade games and personalized favors which are absolutely fun fun fun!!! You need to be gifted with the love of friends who surround you at this very special time. You've met your soulmate and there should be celebrations of love and happiness. If others step up to throw a shower for you, then that's great! You can have more than one.
I would take the initiative and register with your fiance at your favorite stores. That way, when your friend comes to you when she is ready to throw your shower you'll have the information at hand. Start thinking of what kind of shower you would like so you can help her plan. She'll want to do what is best for you. You're the Bride-to-Be. If you're a down to earth gal, there is no reason to throw a high tea party. If you enjoy black and white vintage affairs, there is no reason to throw into the mix a lot of trendy colors into the party. Get my point? Your Maid-of-Honor should know who you are from the inside out.
There is still plenty of time between now and October 4th to have a shower. Showers are typically held 4 to 6 weeks before the wedding. No need to fear. Life is filled with busy busy busy and your friends that love you will show up for you. I can bet on that! From your email letting me know that you have a huge circle of friends and family and that you are well-loved . . . it's about you and having patience dear Emily. Your wedding will be all that you wished for; you are marrying the man of your dreams. The shower will be filled with love from your friends and family - - focus on what love you are given - and be sure to give that love back to each of your guests. They are here for you.
Happy Showering,
Susan "The Shower Diva"
Where Fun Reigns!™
