Jim Dailing, Custom Jewelry Designer
The most important aspect of hosting a baby or bridal shower is celebrating the love you and your friends feel for the guest of honor. This month, as we explore ways to create exceptionally personal, individualized showers, the Shower Diva visited with jewelry artist Jim Dailing because he has a singular talent for learning what is most dear to people’s hearts and translating that into tangible, meaningful symbols.
At Jim Dailing’s jewelry studio rings tell stories and celebrations are immortalized in precious metal. Couples come to him to have their love story told in the design of their wedding bands because they want something unique – something significant to express their deep feelings about their relationship – and it’s in that desire to celebrate the significance of life’s milestones that creating art and creating a memorable party cross paths. Although a baby or bridal shower doesn’t have the same physical longevity as a piece of jewelry, the memories we make together with our loved ones – and the relationships that are strengthened when we celebrate together – have the power to last a lifetime and beyond as they become a part of our family story.
The key, according to Jim, is to focus on the guest of honor. “As individuals, regardless of what we’re involved with, we want to feel like we’re important, needed and heard. We’re such a small amount of time in the universe and we all want witnesses to our lives because it makes us feel loved,” Dailing explains. “I celebrate the milestones in my client’s lives through the medium of jewelry, but applying these concepts to an actual celebration – a party or shower – is another way to express how much you care about someone. If you want to create a very personal, unique celebration, look for the essence of the person you’re honoring. It’s usually not a complex thing. Often it’s something very simple that gives them a feeling of peace and fulfillment.”
But what is most important to your guest of honor may not be immediately apparent. Instead of searching through lists of ideas for a party theme, Jim suggests having a relaxed conversation.
“We all live complicated lives and there’s so much to manage that we tend to show the world a sort of invented self that lives at the surface of our personality and covers up our deepest feelings. To get beyond that, talk to them about many different subjects, maybe music, politics, art - whatever comes up - and watch their reaction. In the course of the conversation you’ll find small things that really matter. Maybe it’s gardening or hiking or reading under a tree – simple, wonderful things. It’s usually whatever makes them smile - it really is. So many times we have these preconceptions that it will be grand, important things that change our lives and so many times it’s the subtlest things that are monumental. Find that, whatever it is, and start there.”
In the case of a bridal shower, Jim recommends thinking about the couple’s relationship and what might be very meaningful within their love story. “Look at what draws these two people together,” he advises. For instance, if the couple met hiking and still love to climb mountains together, that might be something you want to use to personalize your shower. Or for a baby shower where the parents are from different cultures, perhaps include traditions from each. “Celebrate their lives together,” Jim urges.
Once you have determined what is most significant to your guest of honor, Jim suggests that you use your imagination to bring that into your celebration. Some things will be easier than others. If the guest of honor is a passionate equestrian, you won’t have to search far to find décor related to horses. But what if their interests are more obscure? “Do some research,” Jim says, “and find ways to symbolize what makes them happy.” Try using ideograms or colors with meaning. “I once made rings for a couple who wanted to wear each other’s history,” Jim explains. History is not an easy concept to symbolize, so he used color to help. “One had been born at the coast and the other in the desert. So, I made a ring of red gold that symbolized desert and one of white gold that symbolized ocean water. They each wore the ring that symbolized the other’s birthplace.” All cultures have traditional symbols you might find useful – try books about symbolism or research the Internet. Once you get started thinking about symbols, you might even think of some original symbols of your own.
“Once you get into the creative mode, there’s an entire universe of what is possible,” says Jim, reminding me of a party I once attended for a friend who studies yoga. It was a potluck and the hostess requested we only bring foods that were the color of the seven chakras. This meant that most of us had to do some research and put more thought into our food choices. It was a fun use of color that was meaningful to the guest of honor.
“Don’t overcomplicate things, though,” Jim says. “The more we keep things simple, in our jobs, lives and relationships, the better they work out.”
It takes a little more energy to personalize a shower but imagine how touched your loved one will feel when they see what you have done in their honor. “Three years ago for my birthday,” Jim says, “my girlfriend secretly figured out my activities for the day. I tend to try and forget birthdays – I’m fighting with the age thing – so I had six or seven errands to do, the mechanic, doctor, etc. Anyway, she found out where I was going to be and she knows that I’ve been on a personal quest to find spiritual meaning in my life. An important aspect of that, for me, is flowers and it makes me very happy to photograph flowers. So, she left teeny beautiful sunflowers at each of these locations. At first I didn’t think much about it but by the fourth or fifth one I was blown away. I was really touched. That’s so powerful to me, the simple intimacy of it, it said, ‘I hear you and know you and I’m listening.’ That’s what it’s all about.”
Yes. Indeed. That is what it’s all about.
Jim Dailing was inspired to begin his career in metals and jewelry in 1977 after watching a friend cut an opal. His first “real job” was at Maui Divers in Hawaii as a designer. In 1985 he helped open a jewelry store in central Wisconsin, where he was the goldsmith/designer. He continued his journey studying the magic of metals in 1988 when he returned to school to earn a Masters of Fine Arts from Tyler School of Art. In 1992, he was invited to teach at the University of Oregon as a Visiting Assistant Professor.
Today, Dailing, creates one-of-a-kind jewelry at his studio in Portland, Oregon and teaches at the University of Portland. You can browse through his gallery of “story rings” at www.jimdailing.com.
Interested in more guest contributors stories? Check out our August 2008 featured guest!
